开到荼靡花事了

8:30碰头。
9:30至麦德龙选购素材。
11:20到家，开始“拆厨房”。
……
1:00准备享用我们的成果。
ok，今天大家貌似胃口都不怎么好，剩下好多。
H的蛋包饭太干了，小强的鸡翅没一个是烧熟的。幸好布丁还算美味。

总结性陈词：如果想用这样的厨艺虏获一个男人或者一个女人的胃，我们还有很长的路要走。至于服侍好自己的胃，我们也要有足够的心理准备……

anyway,happy is the most important.

适度的饮食，适用的消费，适度的设计，适己的婚姻，适度的阅读，适用的思考，适度的生活。
适自己，识自己，是一辈子的事。
                                     ——摘自《城市画报》

_________________________________
看《城画》并非因为它是如何优秀如何完美的一本杂志，甚至我经常会因为它连续两三期乏味到令人失望的内容而几度萌生放弃它的念头。但每到发刊日，总忍不住带着复杂的心情对着已经彼此熟识的老板说“老板，一份《城市画报》。”
究其原因可能只是期待如同“适界观”这样值得去一看的一期让我有足够的外界动力去静下心来与自我对话。一些灵感，一些省事，一些对未来的冀盼就在阅读中渐渐勾勒出了雏形。
一本杂志，如果已经能够起到抛砖引玉的效果，那么它便有了存活的意义。

我已经分不清从哪一个临界点开始我对于你而言不同于他人，也不知从什么时候开始我不再对捉摸不定的未来产生焦虑。似乎就是这么顺理成章的，你走过漫漫长路，在我的生命里驻扎下来，陪我走过似水年华，看尽日升月沉。

我曾经以为在人山人海的世界里，你只是普通的你，我只是普通的我，机缘巧合与你相遇，打个照面，寒暄几句，然后各自离开便是结局。我以为我们之间的天各一方注定了彼此终有一天会离开对方的世界，做了多年的知己最终也只是换来闲来无事时无关痛痒的一句问候。

只是，我高估了自己，更低估了你。你的嘘寒问暖，你的侃侃而谈，你的温柔善良——我不求我的王子家财万贯、气宇轩昂、英俊不凡、聪明绝顶，或许像你这般剔透风趣能让我着实安定下来便已足够好了。而你，总是说你还不够好，我却很知足，至少你知道我要什么，而你给得起。

那时你和我说：“之所以遇见那些错的人，那些深深伤害你的人是为了让你明白，当某一天遇见那个深深爱你值得你去爱的人的时候，千万不要轻言放弃。”所以，当我经历诸多不如意，发现无论日月如何更替，物事如何变幻，你仍旧在我身边的时候，我只想安静下来，不再纠缠曾经的是与非，只要有你在，我可以单纯得如同一杯水，不再计较那些我用尽全力保护却最终失去的信任和纯真。我说过，你是阳光，而我正在贪婪的取暖。

从认识你起，我便学会等待。而现在，我开始享受这种等待，等待假期每一个清晨与你的相互问候，等待你的电话，等待你的归期。远离尘嚣，静静生活，我不苛求周遭繁花似锦热闹非凡，只求有那么一个人陪我看细水长流。你说那个人是你，现在，我坚信不疑。

收到H从日本寄回的明信片，内容仍旧是围绕我，他，还有猪头。

我喜欢他在明信片里写到的这句话：“有些东西是永不褪色的。”这是一种格外安静的力量，告诉我有知心的朋友在身边真的是一种幸运。

从小习惯独自对待周遭事物，是自我保护也是自我约束。朋友对我的意义更多是静下心来可以好好说说话谈谈心，一起做喜欢做的事。可能只是两个人装模作样的拿着相机逛遍一个又一个展览，只是在一个酷暑的午后躲在咖啡厅里聊一下午的电影或是少女心事。还有其它的什么标志么？或许便是当我失控落泪或是惶恐不安的时候可以肆无忌惮缠着不放的人。

我很庆幸在我的大学时光里遇见了这样令我放心且喜爱的人。一个长不大喜欢依赖人其实很单纯可是被我带坏了有敏锐的观察力却不懂得好好利用的猪头强强，一个像老爸一样啰嗦有着无限梦想是为情所困的代名词并且更适合做火星人的H伤风。

或许没有情人在身边的日子里，我之所以不觉孤单除了自身本性之外也和这两个家伙的存在有关。一个一天里有20个小时与我形影不离再怎么被捉弄也不会生我气，一个随传随到没有肩膀可以借来靠但至少可以骗来请我吃最爱的甜品。或许我仍旧希望在他们的面前能够更好的掩饰和控制自己的任性和脆弱，但某一种对友情的信任让我不需要建筑起厚厚的墙壁，更愿意探出脑袋问问他们，hi~你们还在我的身边么？

我总是相信，在内心深处，我们都有着一块不愿被世间纷繁琐碎所吞噬的净土，所以你们的眼睛总会在某一刻显露出远离尘嚣的清澈，若是我有幸捕捉到了那个瞬间，我会暗自高兴。或许你们并不知晓。

将来的某一天，当我们不得不各奔前程，离开三个人组装起的这个小小世界。当你们回忆起大学里我们一起打打闹闹装腔作势乱七八糟的日子，会不会微笑着再一次拿起笔写一张明信片给我呢？

在毫无准备的情况下看了《an american crime》，不得不佩服Catherine Keener的演技，同时也被这场案件所震撼。

很难想象一群孩子是如何可以没有一丝愧疚的对他们曾经的同伴做出如此不人道的恶行。只因为大人的一句“你们可以这么做”么？集体犯罪往往是因为集体意识的同化，以至于对善恶分辨的麻木。就如在影片中律师问那群孩子你们为什么要这么做，所有人的回答都是“i don't know”。是的，i don't know，所有人都是这么做的便认为这是一件理所应当的事情。而这样的事情发生在一群孩子身上实在是会令人不寒而栗。

Gertrude Baniszewski，一个命运多舛又可悲的女人，“她为了救她的孩子伤害了我，又为了救自己伤害了她的孩子。”——这是导演在影片最后通过sylvia的口所表达出的观点。然而Baniszewski的可悲之处并不仅仅在于此。她用错误的方式保护自己的孩子，用残忍的方式去减轻自身的痛苦。她的抱怨、不安、虚弱需要释放，释放的对象则是这个别人家的孩子，sylvia。她以为运用这种方式可以救她的家庭可以救自己，最终导致了sylvia的悲惨结局也毁了她竭力保护的家。

那些充耳不闻的邻居，懦弱的Denny，除了心中亏欠却无任何行动的Paula，不明真相的牧师……当Sylvia捧着圣经满身是伤的躺在地上祈祷的时候，或许她不会想到曾经她有那么多机会可以获救，可是却没有人迈出那救助她的第一步。

Sylvia逃跑成功的那一段原本我以为是整个片子的败笔，突然良心发现的孩子们，异常冷静的父母。我以为又是一部虎头蛇尾的片子。可是当sylvia回到Baniszewski家，看见地上自己冰冷的尸体，Baniszewski抽着烟不耐烦的重复道：“她没有死，她是在装。”——这是一个纯真的女孩在弥留之际最后善良的幻觉，她试图拯救自己，希望那些伤害她的伙伴终究是她的朋友。可惜人性的善不但没有回归却越发冰凉无力。

最后借用一段豆瓣的评论：“我相信还有很多这样故事的发生.过程也许不一样, 结局也许不一样,夸张也许不一样,但我绝对相信人心的残忍,药物的作用,以及残酷游戏的吸引力.”

以下资料来自于Wiki和truTV Library资料的整合。供看过片子的人进行更为细致的了解之用。

who is Sylvia Likens:


Sylvia Marie Likens (January 3, 1949 - October 26, 1965) was an American murder victim from Indianapolis. She was tortured to death by Gertrude Baniszewski (née Van Fossan), her children, and other young people from their neighborhood. Her parents, carnival workers, had left Likens and her sister Jenny in the care of the Baniszewski family three months before her death in exchange for twenty dollars a week. Along with Baniszewski, two of her children, Paula and John, and two neighbor youths, Coy Hubbard and Richard Hobbs, were charged and convicted of the crime. Her torture and murder were described by the prosecutor in Baniszewski's trial as "the most terrible crime ever committed in the state of Indiana."

这是来自于Wiki的词条。truTV Library对sylvia的伤势进行了更具体的描写：“She was covered with bruises and small wounds, later revealed to be cigarette and match burns that numbered over 100. There were also large areas where the outer layer of skin had peeled off. Likens also had a large letter "3" branded on her chest. However, the most remarkable injuries, by far, were the words in block letters that had been burned directly onto her stomach: "I'M A PROSTITUTE AND PROUD OF IT!"”

 who is Gertrude Baniszewski:

truTV Library用了很大篇幅叙述Gertrude Baniszewski的过往，“She had a sadly careworn and prematurely lined face. Although not yet forty years old, she had been pregnant no less than thirteen times, giving birth seven times and enduring six miscarriages. A chain smoker, she suffered from asthma, bronchitis, and nervous tension.”其中也写到了她的经济情况：“Her income consisted of haphazard child support payments (both of the fathers of her children were seriously delinquent) and the few dollars she managed to scrape together from occasional work like ironing and baby-sitting., with seven children, three spoons, and no sto”而正是因为生活上的拮据与Gertrude命运的坎坷导致了sylvia的悲剧。

what happend:
在电影里，导演美化了Sylvia和Jenny住进Baniszewski家的原因。Wiki中记录说：“In 1965, Likens and her sister Jenny, who was disabled from polio,^[3] were living with their mother in Indianapolis when the elder woman was arrested and jailed for shoplifting.Lester Likens, who had recently separated from his wife, arranged for his daughters to board with Gertrude Baniszewski.”

Abuse and death of Sylvia Likens：
Baniszewski, described by the Indianapolis Star as a "haggard, underweight asthmatic"^[4] suffering from depression and the stress of several failed marriages, began taking her anger out on the Likens girls, beating them with paddles after payments from their parents failed to arrive on time.

Sylvia Likens in particular became a target of abuse. Baniszewski accused her of stealing candy she had bought from a grocery store and humiliated her when she admitted that she had once had a boyfriend. She kicked Likens in the groin and accused her of being pregnant. Paula Baniszewski, who was in fact pregnant at the time, became enraged and knocked Likens onto the floor. Likens became convinced that she was pregnant, although medical examination proved that she was not and could not have been.^[5]

Likens allegedly retaliated by spreading rumors at their high school that Paula and Stephanie Baniszewski were prostitutes. That supposedly prompted Stephanie's boyfriend, Coy Hubbard, to physically attack Likens. Mrs. Baniszewski encouraged Hubbard and other neighborhood children to torment Likens, including, among other things, putting cigarettes out on her skin, forcing her to remove her clothes and insert a Coke bottle into her vagina.^[4]

After Likens admitted stealing a gym suit, without which she was unable to attend gym class, Baniszewski pulled her out of school and did not allow her to leave the house. When Likens urinated in her bed, she was locked in the cellar and forbidden to use the toilet. Later, she was forced to consume feces and urine. Baniszewski began to carve the words "I'm a prostitute and proud of it!" into Sylvia's stomach with a heated needle, although Richard Hobbs finished the carving when Baniszewski couldn't.^[4]

Likens attempted to escape a few days before her death. As punishment, she was tied in the basement and given only crackers to eat. On October 26, 1965, after multiple beatings, she died of brain hemorrhage, shock, and malnutrition.^[4]

Two of the young people tried to revive Likens before realizing it was a lost cause.

Baniszewski sent Richard Hobbs to call the police from a nearby payphone. When they arrived, she handed them a letter she had forced Sylvia to write a few days previously, addressed to her parents. This letter stated that she had agreed to have sex with a group of boys in exchange for money, they dragged her away in their car, beat her up, burned her multiple times, and carved the inscription into her skin.^[4] Before the police left, however, Jenny Likens approached them, saying: "Get me out of here and I'll tell you everything."^[6]

Trial：

On May 19, 1966, Gertrude Baniszewski was convicted of first-degree murder, but spared the death penalty and sentenced to life in prison. Her daughter Paula, who had given birth to a daughter named Gertrude during the trial, was convicted of second-degree murder and also given a life term. Richard Hobbs, Coy Hubbard, and John Baniszewski were convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to two-to-21-year terms.^[4]

The boys would spend two years in prison. In 1971, Paula and Gertrude Baniszewski were granted another trial. Paula pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter and was released two years later.^[4] Gertrude Baniszewski, however, was again convicted of first-degree murder. She came up for parole in 1985, and despite a public outcry and petitions against her release, the parole board took her good behavior in prison into account, and she was set free.

Gertrude Baniszewski changed her name to Nadine van Fossan and moved to Iowa, where she died of lung cancer in 1990. When Jenny Likens, who was then married and living in Beech Grove, Indiana, saw her obituary in the newspaper, she clipped it out and mailed it to her mother with the note: "Some good news. Damn old Gertrude died. Ha ha ha! I am happy about that." Jenny Likens Wade died of a heart attack on June 23, 2004 at the age of 54.^[8]

After the Jonesboro school massacre, John Baniszewski, now known as John Blake, gave a statement claiming that young criminals were not beyond help and describing how he had managed to turn his life around.^[9]